Playing till the work emerges . . . . dedicated to the process

Hanging off a blue ribbon pinned to my wall is a silver chain with an ovular pendant.  The shape of a silhouetted dancer is carved into the negative space of the silver orb; she appears to be a woman, in a slight lunge, looking up at her extended arm as though she were saluting the heavens.  About twice each year I slide this necklace off the ribbon, and place it around my neck on the eve of one of my dance performances.  This has become routine in the four years since I received this necklace from director Nancy Saylor upon my graduation from high school and The Community Dance Connection Theatre/ Rockbridge Modern Dance Ensemble.  I remember the highlights of that Sunday night in late May of 2004 so clearly- the thrill of (what I thought would be) my last Halestone dance performance, the full four pieces that I danced in that year.  Receiving my necklace was one of the first times I remember being present enough with my joy to think, “This moment is perfect!”

I felt so ecstatic because I had been waiting for years to experience that moment.  Ever since I began dancing at Halestone in the sixth grade I had looked up to the company members who were given the necklace at their final performance- they were all so beautiful, so cool- so much bigger and better seeming than my sixth-grade self!  Surely, I thought, when I came to graduate from high school, if I were good enough to make it into the company, I’d be grown-up, graceful, cool, just like them!  And that is almost exactly how I felt, standing up on stage that evening as I and my one graduating companion were applauded by the audience.  However, although I had changed physically, the most important change had been mentally and emotionally.  I had come to regard myself and my body differently, more respectfully, more joyfully.  Receiving the necklace that night, I felt as though the whole of the dancing world that I had known was collaborating in that respect and joy for the dancer and person I had become.

The necklace was also bestowed at an important stage in my life- I was graduating from high school, preparing for the unknown and unfamiliar future.  In many ways, the necklace felt like another diploma- a stamp of approval from all that I’ve known to send me on to all that I did not yet know.  Since leaving Lexington and going to college, the necklace has served to symbolize what and where I’ve come from, who I believe myself to be at my core; it is my passion, my strength, my self.  I wear it prepared to bear my soul and bring everything I’ve got to the challenges and uncertainties that lie ahead, trusting that I, as I have been formed by my past experiences, will carry myself through.

Hannah Mayer - "Necklace"

Arts Administration and Marketing Intern, Summer 2008

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